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Marriage Talks: Household Responsibilities

Emily Norris marriage

By now you have most likely been living on your own long enough to have a pretty good idea of what it means to run a household. Whether it be living in a dorm or an apartment. You know the amount of work it takes to keep your home clean, organized, and livable. You also have developed some preferences in how you like it done. So how does all of this knowledge and your personal preferences translate in a marriage?

You have to talk about it. If you aren’t living together until after the wedding there is a good deal you probably don’t know about your fiancé. Even if you spend every day together right up until bedtime there will be surprises you encounter when you move in together. Like does he let dirty clothes pile up until they become a mountain before washing them, or does she like to wait and do the dishes in the morning leaving the kitchen a mess all night. Below are some opening questions so you have a better idea of your partners cleaning style and also give you some ideas of how you will divide the chores so that everything is not only done but, both parties are happy.

  • What are the chores you enjoy doing? Which ones do you hate? 
  • How and how often do you do laundry? Do you sort? Pile everything in at once? Do you hang anything to dry or does it all go into the dryer for better or worse? 
  • If you have a yard who will be in charge of mowing or will it be a team effort? 
  • Who will take care of the grocery shopping? What about the other errands?
  • Do you like to cook?
  • How often do you clean your place now? 
  • What drives you nuts if its not done the “right way” i.e.. your way? 

There isn’t any one right way to divide the labor. I have heard of some couples who completely divide the labor, he is in charge of outside, and she takes care of everything else in the house. Another divides the labor during the work week but on the weekends team up to tackle bigger projects, and so on. There is no one perfect recipe for happiness, you have decide what works best for you. Happy Cleaning!

What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments below!

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