Quality time is more about quality than time. We can watch television with our spouse. We can sit in the same room as them, but loving your spouse is taking it to the next step. Creating quality time with your spouse is all about creating quality conversation.
It’s not enough for you to be home together in the evenings. If your spouse desires quality time, you need to talk about her/his day- commenting, listening and showing interest. You need to take a moment with your spouse before you are bombarded with children, dinner plans and activities.
Gary Chapman says, “Quality conversation means sympathetic dialogue when two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. “ It may be for easy for you to “talk” to your spouse, but harder to share feelings, thoughts and desires. Challenge yourself to be intimate in conversation with your spouse.
- Maintain Eye Contact
- Give undivided attention: no music, television, phone, computers
- Listen for Feelings
- Observe Body Language
- Refuse to interrupt
Along with intimate conversation, it is important do quality activities together. Be willing to do a 5000-piece puzzle together, not because you love puzzles but because you love being with your spouse. If you can make time for meals and exercise, you can make time for intimate conversation and quality activities. Set aside time each week to spend an intimate night with your spouse. Plan a night at the driving range, a romantic restaurant, or a cozy bookstore.